Tuesday, December 16, 2014

391

It has been 391 days since I kissed and met nick for the first time... So here are 391 random thoughts! :) 
  1. I love nick
  2. I want to live in Hawaii
  3. I love playing donkey kong
  4. I want my life to be like vampire diaries
  5. I am grateful for my roommates this semester
  6. I miss Jade
  7. I miss Panera
  8. I love writing
  9. I want to be Mrs. Dorsett already
  10. I wish I could fly
  11. I love batman
  12. Big T-shirts make me happy
  13. I am not good at math
  14. I love kids
  15. I miss my mom
  16. I love Virginia
  17. I love the smell of tide laundry detergent
  18. Fuzzy socks make me happy
  19. I really don’t like some people
  20. I wish my teeth weren’t sensitive
  21. I am happy to be moving out of my apartment
  22. Clean kitchens are my favorite
  23. I wish my teeth were straight
  24. I love my wedding dress
  25. I stress out easily
  26. I hate the feeling of grass
  27. I hate dirty kitchens
  28. Warm blankets can always cheer me up
  29. I love Nick’s laugh
  30. My favorite color is blue
  31. I miss my dog
  32. My dad is my hero
  33. I love my older brother
  34. I love my younger brother
  35. I wish I had a sister
  36. I am glad I don’t have a sister
  37. I have a lot of inner turmoil
  38. I love my hair when its straight
  39. I miss my long hair
  40. I love my house in Virginia
  41. I hate dealing with finances
  42. I like the house a little cold
  43. I love hot chocolate
  44. I wonder how many kids I will have
  45. I wish my name was Emmalou
  46. I want 3 kids
  47. I love crafts
  48. I wish I was an artist
  49. I want to learn how to draw
  50. I have a lot of anxiety
  51. I think I am depressed sometimes
  52. Les Miserables is my favorite musical
  53. Ian Somerhalder is BAE
  54. I wish I could sing better
  55. Guitar is my passion
  56. I cant wait to have sex
  57. White boards are weird
  58. I miss my best friend
  59. I used to be bad
  60. I love God
  61. I love my Savior
  62. I cant wait to be sealed to Nicolas
  63. I want to be a photographer
  64. I love the name Thora
  65. I want a dog
  66. I don’t like Rexburg
  67. I miss having the 3 musketeers
  68. I want to be a millionaire
  69. I am lazy
  70. I wish I could write a song
  71. I love the rain
  72. I hate the snow
  73. I love the spring time
  74. I hate winter
  75. I love church
  76. I hate singles wards
  77. I love the smell of drier sheets
  78. I love sweat pants
  79. I hate science
  80. I love astronomy
  81. I am excited to leave Rexburg
  82. I love Nicolas with all my heart
  83. I love nicks beard
  84. I wish I was 10 pounds lighter
  85. I wish I had more motivation
  86. I want my hair to be more red
  87. I get cold really easily
  88. I am kind of a brat sometimes
  89. I wish my mom was here
  90. I love my legs
  91. I hate my tummy
  92. I wish I had a belly button ring
  93. I have always wanted a tattoo
  94. I love writing in cursive
  95. I don’t read the instructions
  96. I hate packing
  97. I wish I was low maintenance
  98. I am scared of growing up
  99. I hate shaving my legs
  100. I am very self-conscious
  101. I have a very guilty conscious
  102. I love my heating blanket
  103. Fuzzy blankets are amazing
  104. I love minty face wash
  105. I hate zits
  106. I love conditioner
  107. Loofas make life amazing
  108. Bubble baths soothe the soul
  109. I am scared of getting a massage
  110. I love who I am right now
  111. I love who I am becoming
  112. I love my phone
  113. I love taking pictures
  114. I love my fiancé
  115. I love/hate  scary movies
  116. I love fluffy carpet
  117. I need him in my life
  118. I love being tall
  119. I love high heels
  120. I wish I was two inches shorter
  121. I love Taylor swift
  122. I want to go to a concert
  123. This is taking way too long…
  124. I love driving mini vans
  125. I act strong, but I’m not
  126. I love my guitar
  127. I love taking notes
  128. I want to be a mom
  129. I hate birth control
  130. I don’t fully understand condoms…
  131. ^ I want to know what they feel like
  132. I am a nightmare dressed like a day dream
  133. I am kind of crazy
  134. I wish I could come clean about everything
  135. I love freshly painted nails
  136. I hate waiting for nails to dry
  137. Pink lemonade is amazing
  138. I have an obsession with taco bell
  139. Baja Blast is amazing
  140. I hate thinking about the past
  141. I wish I could forget things more easily
  142. I forgive him very fast
  143. I hate living with girls
  144. I am so excited to be getting married
  145. Weddings are crazy
  146. I am excited to meet his family
  147. I wish I was better at school
  148. I am very awkward
  149. I wish I still danced
  150. I really enjoy roller skating
  151. Nick and Emma vs. The World
  152. Dogs are my favorite
  153. I don’t like cats
  154. I don’t mind kittens
  155. I am allergic to bunnies
  156. I am allergic to cats
  157. I want to be successful
  158. I love curling my hair
  159. When I look pretty I feel more confident
  160. I hate working at McDonalds
  161. I won’t go back to McDonalds
  162. I am so happy I have Nick in my life
  163. I don’t regret anything with him
  164. I know God loves me
  165. Ed Sheeran’s voice is amazing
  166. Love hurts
  167. Pictures make life better
  168. I wish life was more simple
  169. I wish I was more flexible
  170. He makes me feel alive
  171. I wish I played the guitar more
  172. I have only kissed four boys
  173. I have only had three boyfriends
  174. I dated my first boyfriend for 9 months
  175. I love the holidays
  176. I AM GETTING MARRIED!
  177. I am lucky to have great parents
  178. I am sick of the cold
  179. I hope my kids will love life
  180. I want to raise my kids right
  181. I am happy that Nick will be their father
  182. I love my wedding veil
  183. I hate the dark sometimes
  184. I can only sleep in complete darkness
  185. I can only sleep in complete silence
  186. I am going to miss the friends I made this semester
  187. I wish I could rap
  188. Nick is my best friend
  189. Nick is the only person I am 100% honest with
  190. I hate Iphones
  191. I hate Apple…
  192. I love death cab for cutie
  193. I used to be obsessed with coheed and cambria
  194. I hate death
  195. I hate thinking about my future
  196. I love messy buns
  197. I love hair products
  198. I wish my hair was longer
  199. I miss the beach
  200. OBX is my favorite place to relax
  201. Disney is life!
  202. I am going to Disney on my honeymoon
  203. I have the vampire diaries necklace
  204. I need more socks
  205. I hope it doesn’t snow very much in VA this winter
  206. I wish I knew how to finger pick on the guitar
  207. I hate little red lights in the dark
  208. I am almost finished packing
  209. I hate the feeling of cotton pads
  210. Nail polish remover gives me the chills
  211. I hate dry skin
  212. I love my wedding ring
  213. Rode gold is my favorite
  214. I love the ring I got for nick
  215. I hate my toes
  216. I hate getting pedicures
  217. My younger brother is awesome at skateboarding
  218. I love bushing my hair
  219. I wish my hair was naturally straight
  220. I lose so much hair every day
  221. I love vacuuming carpets
  222. I love the smell of lemon cleaning products roller coaster are awesome
  223. I love wood floors
  224. I love ice cream
  225. ^ but I am lactose intolerant
  226. I love frozen yogurt
  227. Ice skating is awesome
  228. I wish I could do ballet
  229. I want to do better in school
  230. I am done with school for 9 months
  231. ^ that makes me really happy
  232. I am jealous of Nick’s guitar skills
  233. I love the Book of Mormon
  234. I am a daughter of God
  235. Nick and I have something beautiful between us
  236. I love to sleep
  237. Like I LOVE to sleep!
  238. I can sleep for 10 hours a night and be perfectly content
  239. I get sick if I don’t sleep
  240. I am excited to meet his siblings
  241. I am excited to go to California
  242. I haven’t been to California besides Disney Land
  243. I like the taste of envelope glue
  244. I love writing in different fonts
  245. I hate cleaning other peoples messes
  246. Food in the sink grosses me out
  247. I go to bed early for a college student
  248. I can listen to the same song over and over
  249. I love tan walls
  250. I love decorating houses/ rooms
  251. I wish I felt the spirit more often
  252. I wish I got angry less
  253. I want to be more patient
  254. My mom is freaking amazing
  255. I love Instagram
  256. I love Facebook
  257. I hate twitter
  258. Snapchat is amazing
  259. I love bonfires
  260. I love the smell of clothes after you have been around a fire
  261. I love the sand dunes
  262. Smores are amazing!
  263. Chocolate can cure any sadness
  264. I am scared to have kids
  265. I love super Nintendo games
  266. I love roller coaster tycoon
  267. I love Bioshock
  268. Spotify is the best invention ever
  269. I love legos
  270. I hope nick likes his Christmas present(s)
  271. I love hot showers
  272. Music soothes my soul
  273. Toilet paper has to be soft
  274. I love orange juice
  275. I will not buy off brand laundry detergent
  276. I love mushrooms
  277. I don’t like most vegetables
  278. I’ve always wanted to teach
  279. I am nervous to meet nicks biological dad
  280. ^ I think he is nervous too
  281. My mom wants to be nicks mom too
  282. ^she said she is going to ‘adopt’ him
  283. I want to meet Taylor Swift
  284. I miss humidity
  285. I miss my daddy
  286. I will always be daddy’s little
  287. I had caffeine tonight
  288. I hate loud noises
  289. I don’t like foot rubs
  290. I can’t get massages because I’m too ticklish
  291. I am not racist
  292. Cards against humanity is hilarious
  293. I love monopoly
  294. I hate history
  295. I want to write better
  296. I wish I was a singer / songwriter
  297. I have only performed once
  298. I miss high school choir
  299. ^I miss theatre too..
  300. I love space heaters
  301. We used to put a space heater in my dogs house outside
  302. I am excited to go in the temple
  303. I love my grandparent
  304. I miss my grandparents
  305. I wish I wasn’t so jealous all the time
  306. I know my family loves me
  307. I know I love Nick
  308. I want to be a good person for him
  309. I hate getting my socks wet
  310. I love swimming
  311. I love the ocean
  312. I love hot tubs
  313. I hate the smell of indoor pools
  314. I want to kiss nick right now
  315. I always want to kiss nick
  316. This is taking forever! Haha
  317. I love the feeling of clean dishes
  318. I hate doing other peoples dishes
  319. Sometimes doing dishes calms me down
  320. Eternity with him isn’t long enough
  321. I don’t want romance to go away
  322.  I am afraid of getting pregnant
  323. Superman is pretty cool
  324. Christmas is only 9 days away!
  325. I don’t know if I want to tell my kids about Santa
  326. I have a sexy Santa outfit
  327. I get up really early on Christmas
  328. I don’t know what nick got me for Christmas
  329. I am excited to go back to VA for a bit
  330. I miss the spring
  331. I wish my feet weren’t so big
  332. I hate my feet
  333. I like my hands
  334. I wish my boobs were bigger
  335. My butt is awesome right now 
  336. I love sexy underwear
  337. I am going to miss wearing thongs
  338. I hate running
  339. I love yoga
  340. I don’t have a best friend in the apartment
  341. I want him here right now
  342. I love love!
  343. I hate being a girl sometimes
  344. I never want to shave again!
  345. Everyone thinks I am part Asian
  346. I am so excited for my wedding reception
  347. I am excited to be getting sisters (by marriage)
  348. I hate earbuds
  349. ^ because my ears are too small for them
  350. I wish I was stronger
  351. I wish I met nick sooner
  352. I stole nick from another girl
  353. I love shoes!
  354. I wear boots almost every day
  355. I want to be truly happy
  356. I hate fighting
  357. I hate contention
  358. I hate disagreements
  359. I cry really easily
  360. Sometimes I just need to cry
  361. I am lucky to be marrying my best friend
  362. I hate complicated things
  363. I can’t to have a house of my own
  364. I am tired of going to school
  365. I want to love him forever
  366. I don’t like birds
  367. I hate not getting sleep
  368. I hate super loud people
  369. I am an introvert
  370. I love the smell of clean towels
  371. I love baking
  372. I love cooking dinner
  373. I love the fall leaves
  374. I am more of a night owl than an early bird
  375. I love our first kiss
  376. I love our first conversation
  377. I love our trust  
  378. I love his smile
  379. I love his dimple
  380. I love his eyes
  381. I love his hands
  382. I love the way he holds me
  383. I love the way he kisses me
  384. I love how he loves me
  385. I love his hair
  386. I love his personality
  387. I love his jokes
  388. I love his dance moves
  389. I love the way he holds my hand
  390. I love his love
  391. I just love him 


Saturday, November 8, 2014

worth a thousand words


I cant stop thinking about my eternity with this man. He makes me so happy it is unbelievable. I know these posts are probably beginning to sound tired, but I never get tired of talking about my best friend. He is literally my world and I could not imagine my life without him.
That being said I have recently been taking a marriage skills class at my college and I loved something that we talked about. My professor talked about how young married couples think they are the only couple that fights because every other couple looks so happy, but in reality they have just as many problems as you. Our society thinks that talking about our problems within our marriage to a friend means that we are "going behind their back" or just complaining about our problems. So we begin t think that we shouldn't ask for help when there is a big problem and just keep things within the marriage. However, when that happens we all suffer in silence and that alone can end up destroying a marriage. This short time I have been in this class I have learned a lot, We also talked about those doubts that sneak into the back of your mind. Doubts are different than red flags.Red flags are things like abusive behavior and maybe secrets that irritate them when you talk about it. Second thoughts are natural and they happen to everyone. It just depends on what you do with that thought. In an eternal marriage those second thoughts and doubts are put there by Satan to try and break an eternal and everlasting covenant. If you feed those doubts then of course your mind is going to turn those thoughts into red flags. But if you dismiss the thought and think of all the reasons you love your significant other then those thoughts should fade.
Satan works on me everyday, in little ways. It used to effect me a lot before Nick and I got engaged, but I have noticed that those thoughts fade if I just think of all the reasons we are doing this instead of the few that make me think we shouldn't.
DISCLAIMER I am not writing this because I am doubting things (because I am NOT!) I am simply writing about things in general.
Eternity with this man could never be enough time. Sometimes he doesn't understand why I am so in love with him, but I wish he could see why I love him so much. Is is the most genuine person I have ever met. He cares about other people and knows how to show emotion. He isn't afraid of saying what he thinks and he knows how to communicate. (which is something I am working on) You know the saying that "You hurt the ones you love the most"? That is very true, but I think also the ones you love the most know how it feels to be loved that much and nothing can surpass that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

seventy three







It's 73 days until I become Mrs. Dorsett! I cannot believe the number keeps on shrinking! I cant believe that before I know it I will be married to my best friend for all time and eternity! 

Monday, October 13, 2014

lists, lists & more lists

I am so freaking stressed out I can barely handle it! There is so much to do this week I feel like I can barely function..

find out how to get a marriage licence
take and exam
write history paper
write child development paper
schedule a fitting for my wedding dress
pick out color palette
do other history homework
study for history exam
propose to bridesmaids
pick out engagement pictures
order invites
put a guest list together
get on birth control
get a head count for reception in Utah
get a head count for reception in Virginia
find a caterer
choose bridesmaids
book hotel
book honey moon
figure out honeymoon expenses
do all my laundry
organize my room

aaaaaand that is just this week. there are a million other things to do, but if I think of it all at once I get too overwhelmed.

On the other hand! I am super happy that I am getting married. Nick seriously makes everything better and I wish he knew how much I loved him and how happy he makes me. I wish he wasn't so far away! I love seeing him on weekends, but I cant wait to not have to say goodbye to him. Sunday nights seem to be the hardest because I know it will be a while until I can see him again. Sometimes it is even a full week... I know I shouldn't be complaining because I spent 5 months away from him so 5 days shouldn't be that hard, but it is. He is my best friend and it is hard to hang out with other people because if there are guys around and they know you are engaged they treat you like you have the plague or something. So it ends up not even being fun... I really don't enjoy sitting in my room alone, like I am now, but it is better than  going out and being ignored..

Friday, September 5, 2014

distance makes the heart grow fonder

      So I have always laughed at this saying. I also always thought that long distance relationships don't ever last. I used to think that talking on the phone gets old and that sooner or later someone is going to get bored and one of you is going to walk away. I would roll my eyes at long distance relationships and I said I would never have one, because, I need someone by me to hug me when I'm in the need of some love. I could not wait on a phone call every night. I couldn't just be happy with skype calls. And I sure as heck could not end my day without a goodnight kiss. What kind of life is that? Having to turn down nights out with friends because you have a skype date, or you are worried to go out because of the fear of you having to tell the cute guy hitting on you that you can't give him your number and that you have a boyfriend. Because then you can suffer the humiliation of him saying "I wasn't asking.." Then you just feel like you want to crawl in to a hole and never come out. Misreading conversation can be the death of any girl. (Side note: What do you say back to that anyway? "oh, my bad" "Sorry, I thought you were hitting on me.." or my personal favorite "Oh.. if you would please excuse me I will go bash my head into a brick wall real quick.")
      So how could a relationship like this ever work. It has to be infused with jealousy and distrust. Then some phone calls will be ignored, some skype calls will be missed, someone will want to hang out with their friends instead of listening about your tough day. Then before you know it someone gets tired of it and that's where it ends. Plus to put the cherry on top you cant even do it in person you are forced to do it over the phone. I used to not understand why people would put themselves through this kind of inevitable torture. Then everything changed. I realized that the awkward break-up over the phone doesn't have to happen. I also realized that jealousy and distrust would stem from an already poisonous relationship. Distance doesn't infuse it, it can inflame it even more, but it is not the main cause. And that whole awkward moment of the 'cute guy' hitting on you.. Well I realized that, one: that has never happened to me and two: the reason why is because I always somehow work him into the conversation (multiple times) so that there is no confusion as to my relationship status. Plus I love talking about him anyway, sometimes I wouldn't even realize I brought him up until suddenly no guys were talking to me anymore (oops.. sorry I know I talk about him a lot) . And about that turning down a night out with your friends for a skype call? ANY DAY! I would look forward to seeing him. Seeing that smile and his cute dimple was the highlight of my day. I didn't need a night out to relax from a tough week. Talking with him is all I needed.
      Then you get into the physical stuff. Now I will admit that this was one of the hardest parts of all. I missed kissing him, because that physical intimacy is important in any relationship, but I will say that I missed his hugs the most. When I was having one-of-those-days I just needed someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but I only got half of what I needed. Words of comfort can help, but they are lacking without a big hug to accompany them. I never thought I would say this, but getting a phone call from him every night still makes me smile (even if we already talked 3 or 4 times that day... or 5 or 6....). I am so grateful for cell phones, text messaging, skype, snapchat, facebook and pinterest. There are so many ways to stay in contact. (Yes, I did say pinterest.) A relationship where someone gets bored and leaves was not meant to last. If you truly love the person then you can go through anything. Even if the relationship was fragile at the beginning you can still progress as long as you are both putting forth the effort to have an amazing relationship.
      My long distance lasted about five months and is actually continuing right now and I am so happy. I would not trade in my relationship for anything. It has been hard and still is hard, but I grew a lot from this experience. I would not do this any differently.
      One thing that I realized is that with a long distance relationship is all you get to do is talk. There is no physical intimacy, at all.. of any kind... zero. So it makes you get to know each other even more than you already do. And sometimes you end up talking about the most random things and sometimes vulgar things, but it allows you to kind of get into the mind of the other person and just talk about things. Although, I cannot wait to finally end this long distance stuff and be close to him, I am glad I got to see what a long distance relationship is like.
      I used to laugh at long distance relationships, but now I know it is possible to have a successful relationship even when there is over 1900 miles between you and the one you love. Distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder, I know this firsthand.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Mr. Wonderful










He came to visit me! I have been counting down to this day for months! He finally got here! He is gone now, but he stayed for TWO whole weeks and it was the happiest I have been in a really long time. Being around him makes me so very happy and I feel so lucky to have him in my life. He is now back in Idaho and I am going to head out there in about two weeks! We had so much fun and I cant wait to be back in Idaho with this amazing man!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

salt in my hair ~ sun in my heart
























This was supposed to go up a looooong time ago, but I actually forgot that I had these pictures! Cassie and I decided to go down to North Carolina and visit the best place in the world, The Outer Banks! We had so much fun that day! It was a really long day. We got up at 5am drove 5 hours to OBX and then stayed at the beach and got sufficiently sunburned then came home and got home around 10pm. It was a very amazing day! We went to sonic THREE times in one day! I wish there was a sonic around me! I am so excited because I will be returning to OBX this Sunday for our annual fmaily vacation! I'm so ready to feel that sun again!!!!!!