Whenever I think of the rest of my life I get over whelmed. Its like an empty canvas waiting to be filled with my life, but everything seems too much. like when will I get married, when will I have kids, where will I end up, what job will I have? it all seems too real right now. when I was younger it was easier I thought I wanted to be a nurse have five kids and live in Utah, but now that I have a better view on life that is far off from what I now in vision myself being. I am starting my adult life soon and I'm worried I wont be able to handle it. how can I succeed in something that I don't even know about, I mean I can learn about it, but I have no idea what I will end up succeeding in. I wish I didn't have to grow up, but its a part of life. it is so weird thinking of the rest of my life. I never thought I would even graduate high school because it just seemed so far off, but it arrived sooner than I thought. and getting married seemed far off too, until my friends start getting engaged and then it all seems too real. I'm not ready to grow up and get married. I want to enjoy my youth a while longer. I have the rest of my life to get married and have kids. I have all the time in the world to love someone, but for now I would rather have my life be an empty canvas and paint it as I go. I don't want to make myself plans and be disappointed when I don't succeed. I would rather have empty space to grow than try to fit in a mold. xoxo
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