Blood Cravings and Fangs

It controls you. It takes control of your emotions. It controls everything. All you can think about is the sweet taste of human blood. You crave it, but it is stronger than just a craving. You need it in order to survive. The longer you resist the more intense the cravings are. Everything is heightened. Everything more vivid in your sight. Every image is sharper you can hear the smallest of sounds. Why can I only think of blood. Everywhere I go I want that sweet taste to grace my lips so I can relish in the warmth. I may sound like a monster, but I'm really not. I am just cursed. I didn't ask to be this way, but I am. I still care for my family. I still want to have a life. I still love him. I still want a family. I am still me. I am just a vampire.. I love them, but it hurts knowing what they have done. They have killed people. They are different now though, but the others aren't. It hurts knowing that my friends and family have been killed by their our kind... It can be hard to handle sometimes. Some days I just feel the pain and hurt so much that it clouds my judgement and I become one of them. I tear into the throats of the ones I love. I almost black out as I do this. Then the guilt afterwards eats me alive.. I don't want to feel this anymore. They say you can turn it off. Like a light switch. On or Off. Whatever you want to choose. Just pick one. I want it On, but Off would be easier. I decided to try it one day. They said you can always just turn it back On. So why not? I turned all of it off. All the hurt, all the pain, all the suffering, all the happiness, all the laughter, all the love, everything. Now I dont care. Why did I ever care about who I feed on? Blood keeps me alive so I drink it. Oh and him, ha, whatever. I will kiss him and make him think I still want him, but all I want is his body. I could care less if he left. I do what I need to do to survive now. No feelings to get in the way of surviving. All that matters is me and staying alive. Dont be fooled by my smile. If you get in my way you are dead. Being a vampire doesnt control me, its who I am. Blood cravings and fangs is who I am.